


The Force of Feelings

by doublesunsets



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Feelings Realization, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Jedi Reader, Sassy, star wars imagine - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:41:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25058653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doublesunsets/pseuds/doublesunsets
Summary: As a Padawan a little bit of mischief now and then is ok, or at least that's what you say to yourself. The problem comes when those innocent games awake in you something you might not be allowed to keep.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 65





	The Force of Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> This could be read as first part of something I am planning on continue but you can read it by itself. I'll add more as chapters, and maybe change the rating if that's the case. Also, this was purely indulgent to get an idea out of my head

You changed positions again trying to find the one that will help you sleep but it was no use, your whole body was alert, like the night before a mission, only that there wasn’t any mission. Not for a while, at least. Your Master had gone away on a diplomatic mission and they had to leave you behind because, apparently, Padawans were not welcome on the oh great and sublime Campanir. Kicking your sheets you scolded yourself, that was a childish thought, you perfectly knew that they would have taken you with them but it wasn’t their choice, and it wasn’t like you were having a bad time at the temple anyway.

Master Qui-Gon was temporarily staying on Coruscant too and he had kindly offered to keep up with your training, which you suspected was a way of keeping an eye on you plotted by your Master. You were hardly in need of any more training at your age; “ _ You never stop learning, young one, even at my age there are new things I discover every day _ ”, but the chance of training with Master Qui-Gon was not one you would have passed easily. Of course, his Padawan might had something to do with your enthusiasm about your new training. Maybe even with your insomnia.

You got up from your bed with a deep sigh and without even bothering to change out of your pajama shorts, got out of your room heading straight to the training room. It wasn’t like you were going to cross paths with Master Yoda at 3 AM on the hallways. 

Obi-Wan Kenobi.

That bastard.

As soon as he entered your thoughts again, all your work about blocking the feelings from the last few days went to a Sarlacc pit. So much for a Jedi in training. 

When you started joining Master Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan on their training sessions your previous amicable relationship with the Padawan naturally developed into some kind of competition between the two of you, a funny thing between equals, to see who would lose focus first or pointed a slip on a fencing position. After you got more comfortable with each other it evolved into something more… competitive. Both of you started to go out of your way to sabotage the other, bonus stars if Master Qui-Gon didn’t notice. It became this funny little game that would make your blood pump faster over simple things as if you were plotting against the Republic itself, reflecting lights so the other couldn’t see the target, misplaced lightsabers mysteriously appearing on top of statues at the Great Hall, wrong information about time and places, mischievous nothings that none of you knew how to stop anymore.

At least until one small but epic push with the Force that ended with Obi-Wan inside a fountain. That had been past week, it had been a slow lazy day, Master Qui-Gon busy assisting someone from the Council. You two decided to stay at the temple, helping Master Yoda with the younglings and Obi-Wan had been in a good mood, teasing you and even getting the kids to aid him like a little army of pranksters. So you were rightfully annoyed by the end of the day and while getting back to your quarters thought that a surprise bath looked like a funny idea. And well, Obi-Wan flapping like a duck on the water had been hilarious, but what followed not that much, your laughter had quite literally got stuck in your throat and only a soft gasp escaped instead when you saw the consequences of your mischief.

Obi-Wan was laughing while getting out of the fountain with all the grace he could muster and discarding his outer robes that fell heavy on the floor, and then he stood there smiling and looking at himself like it was the first time he was seeing all his clothes wet. Wet and sticking to his body, wet as his hair and face, wet like the hollow of his throat where all the droplets that fell from his hair went to die. Wet like, well, like you every time now you thought about those stupid trousers clinging to those stupid thighs. You were aware that he saw your expression, he even rushed to you to ask if you were alright, concerned look on his face like it was you instead of him the one that fell on that fountain, and like a blaster shot you got terrified that he could see exactly what you were thinking about him, how were you feeling, so you just, ran.

After that you ignored his looks, still scared shitless that somehow he could see written on your face what you kept thinking every time you were alone in your room and remembered all that wetness. Even more horror struck in your heart every time that warm sensation inside you told you that it might have been a revelation but it was hardly about something new. It had not been easy to avoid him, the two of you had fallen on an easy companionship, when you were not under Master Qui-Gon tutelage, you would follow each other to the library, or the garden, or even around Coruscant and its many quaint inhabitants, but avoid him you did. However, it was only a matter of time and you have known it.

Today's session had been…  _ intense _ . Meditating was an easy enough challenge, a skill that was taught to all younglings from a very short age, so it should have been easy enough, but Master Qui-Gon informed both of you that he wanted to improve your technique the same way as Masters did. He took you and Obi-Wan to a special room designed to shut out all stimulus from outside, light, noise, and even the living beings in the Force; you could only feel yourself and the Force surrounding you in the darkness. You would enter a state of perfect harmony with the Force. Or you were supposed to. That had been a nice theory that went to bantha shit pretty quickly with Obi-Wan in the room.

At first you thought you were imagining things, your senses were still getting accustomed to the environment and you were scarcely aware of Master Qui-Gon in front of you on a platform and Obi-Wan sitting next to you on the floor, but only because you saw it before the blinds shut down. So it could have been anything, maybe the air changing around you or your own skin reacting to the sudden darkness and getting in high alert. The second time it was most definitely not air. A hand touched your forearm, the feeling of another skin making contact with yours unmistakable, and all your senses zeroed on it. Fingertips grazed, soft and shortly, making you aware of the body heat at your right side but it had been only just, finished before it even started, so you took it as an accident.

But then, oh then. The memory of it making your steps a little too hard on the duracreet floor, the sound of it reverberating down the empty halls.

The third time there was no misinterpretation possible. Obi-Wan stroked your right arm, he started inside your wrist and moved higher very slowly without putting too much pressure until he got to your elbow where he stopped, his fingers slightly rough and so warm that it awoke goosebumps all over your right side. Stubbornly, you closed your eyes tightly even if you perfectly knew he couldn’t see your face, determined to not let any reaction out of you, and took deep breaths to calm you.

You were still counting your breaths when Obi-Wan reached with his hand a fourth time and began brushing his fingers on your pulse point but before he moved them forward, you caught his hand and pulled it to yourself, making him lose his balance and bump into your shoulder, completely resting his weight on you.

“Stop it,” you angry whispered, asking the Maker that Master Qui-Gon were really deep into his meditation.

“Do you have trouble focusing today, darling?” his barely contained laugh was making him breathless and he got closer to your ear so he could speak more quietly, steadying himself with a hand on the floor behind you. “A Jedi should not let such trivialities get on their way, young Padawan.” 

Every word sent sparks down your spine and every point you were in touch with him was burning. He could not possibly be aware of what he was doing to you, you could barely understand it yourself. You opened your eyes but still couldn’t see anything, you could only perceive him, there was nothing else in the Force but his breath moving your hair. It was too much, your feelings and his presence too overwhelming. His hand was still firmly trapped in yours but instead of releasing it, you tightened your hold.

“I don’t see you very focused yourself either.” You turned your head to him but stopped when you felt his breath on your cheek. 

“Oh, no, I am focused,” his voice dropped, just a slight murmur, “only maybe not on meditation.”

“A Jedi doesn’t seek revenge, young Padawan,” you threw back to him trying to cover the hint of hysterical tone you could hear in yourself, your whole body vibrating with all the things you were trying to bottle up inside you. 

He didn’t answer, but you heard him inhale hastily and after a tense silence he unexpectedly pushed himself away and slipped his hand from yours, that freed smoothly from your hold in your shock.

His absence hit you like a blast and without thinking you swiftly got up. You forced your eyes but there was only darkness. You could almost feel like your turmoil was getting louder, and you found yourself rendered powerless to even remember which way was the door.

“I can sense your agitation, young one, would you like to finish this session for today?” Master Qui-Gon's voice got to you from afar but quickly the wave that was drowning you receded and your senses came back to you, like emerging from deep waters.

“Yes. Yes, please, Master.”

As soon as the light began to illuminate your surroundings, you bowed to Master Qui-Gon, who was slightly more to your left than what you remembered, and bolted out of the room without waiting for the blinds to be completely open. You felt Obi-Wan eyes following you but forced yourself to look only straight ahead until you closed the door behind you.

It had not been one of your proudest moments and you sighed at remembering it. You did that a lot lately. As a future Jedi you knew better than to let your emotions take control of you, even more if those emotions were of a dubious permitted character. Nothing will come of them anyway, it never could, you surprised yourself thinking. Not that  _ that _ was the reason for not having them, you scolded yourself. You should have stopped all this at the first signs of attachment, but if you were honest with yourself you weren’t even sure when those would have been. On those slow evenings when he would read aloud any interesting fact he would encounter in his books? Maybe when those knowing looks started every time Master Qui-Gon said something cryptic? Or maybe you were truly just fooling yourself thinking that the excitement you felt about your new training had nothing to do with the prospect of spending more time with that young man you crossed paths on the hallways sometimes, who would smile at you with those bright blue eyes without prompting and without waiting for a smile in return. Maybe you had been a little too excited about returning smiles of your own. Without you noticing, you had arrived at the main training rooms which were as empty as you had supposed, and automatically led your steps to a small one at the back next to a balcony you were familiar with.

You came here after all to forget about Obi-Wan, not to keep thinking about could bes and shouldn’ts, so you removed your shoes and entered the tatami. Just some quick exercises, enough to empty your mind and get rid of the excess energy. You closed your eyes, took a deep breath through your nose and stretched your arms above your head. 

“Hello-”

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

“You can’t be here. You are not here.” You covered your face with your hands and let out a heavy sigh. Again.

“Oh, but I’m most certain that I am, darling.” Obi-Wan’s voice answered very much right behind you, “I am good with the Force but astral projection it’s something I have not quite mastered yet.”

You turned your face to him and peeked through your fingers. Obi-Wan was indeed there, propped up at the door leading to the balcony looking at you with a dreamy smile. Your heart lurched inside your chest and for a second you were tempted to run away again. But no. This was Obi-Wan, he was, if not anything else, a friend, you were at least sure of that. So you will have to deal with it the Jedi way, accept it and then release it to the Force. You dropped your arms and completely turned facing him. His eyes snapped up to yours and his smile turned cheeky.

“Nice shorts.”

“Oh you, shut up. You are the weird looking one here, why are you still dressed in your robes at this time of the night?” You walked to him, without your shoes on he towered over you a little.

“Maybe I woke up early and I’m already dressed for the day.”

“Not even a Jawa will buy that. You weren’t even training, what were you doing out there?”

“Watching the city lights, come over with me,” he took your arm and pulled you out to the balcony with him, his firm touch very different from his earlier teasing but your reaction very much the same. Your skin burned under his hand. “They look delightful tonight, don’t you think?”

“Don't they always?”

“Indeed, but that doesn’t mean you cannot enjoy looking at them every time.”

He was not looking at them, though. You could feel him staring at you. As a matter of fact, you could feel him staring at you plenty. Studying at the library, strolling through the gardens, or even while being around Coruscant and its many quaint inhabitants. 

“Almost like it is the first time you see them,” you breathed, turned your face to him, and hesitantly allowed yourself to return his radiant smile with one of your own.


End file.
